so very sorry

I love my blog dearly. But recently I'm sure you noticed I have been unusually silent. It may be a couple more months of silence guys. I have four, children two with very weak immune systems. Don't think I am gone forever but it will be February probably before I can write regularly or even at all. I apologize but with homeschooling and other responsibilities it is impossible for me to write as well. Please bear with me, and don't lose faith.

frightening medicine

I'm fightin a cold. I hate colds. I'd rather have the flu. Not hangin in this perpetual state of functioning but miserable. At least when you have the flu, you are sick. Sick enough to justify layin' in bed all day utterly miserable. With a cold you have to push through.

But while makin my lemon tea with honey for my throat I was thinkin of some of the old timer remedies. Whenever I read some of them I wonder if more people died from the remedies rather than the illness.

Who thought that putting dried horse droppings in ale would cure anything? I don't drink but I have tasted alcohol. It tastes bad enough without adding horse fertilizer to it! Although after some of those drunken episodes I'm sure there's more than one wife who would add an extra dose of fertilizer to their hubby's morning ale.

What about dragon liver or pickled dragon liver? We all know there's no such thing as dragons. So where'd they get these rather rancid pieces of "magical" meat? On second thought I really don't want to know.

But the whole thing is who decided these specific ingredients "cured" anything? Healers borrowed their surgical equipment from the cook or the horse farrier. So I'm sharing dental extraction tools with a horses hooves. Yummy. Maybe that's where the droppings came into use?

Then there's the odd animal sacrafice usually a white or black. So why those two colors? Can't we all just get along. Or insects. Everything from lice, leaches, to cockroaches to spider webs. Supposedly if you stick a cockroach cut in two in your ear it'll fix an earache. I'd rather be deaf.

Ya know I think I'll just stick to my bee spit up. It at least tastes sweet.

scrooged

There's a great debate goin' on here, it will continue for years to come. What could possibly be so controversial? The best Christmas movie. We all have very different tastes so this gets to be quite the argument when it's time for a new movie to be popped in.

Let's see Honeybear's fave is actually a toss up; Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story. It's not uncommon to hear the kids pop up with "You'll shoot your eye out kid." This gets us weird looks but hey whatya goin' to do. Personally the most important part is when he says a naughty word and blames it on his friend. We all know we slip once in a while as adults but think we could never be the ones to teach them those things. (Yeah right. Hey mom, dad, you feel bad lookin' back? Yeah well you should.)

Martin's fave is supposedly the Polar Express. I beg to differ seeing as how each and every one of these kids can quote Jim Carrey's rendition of the Grinch word for word and line for line. I swear I am tempted to make that movie disappear and they've only watched it once so far this year. Can't remember yesterday's history but they can quote a movie they haven't seen in months!

Madison's fave is more a character than a movie itself. She loves all the movies equally I would say. But is there anyone as fashionable as Martin Short playin' Jack Frost? I don't think so, at least accordin' to Madison. She loves him.

Degan favors any and all "manly" Christmas movies. These include the Grinch, Polar Express, Christmas Carol, and Ruldoph. He says they all got men gettin stuff done. *rolls eyes Anyone want to tell the boy he's five?!

Bella? She just takes advantage of the arguin' to take more than her fair share of popcorn and treats that are a staple this time of year. Although she loves the Grinch too.

So what's your favorite Christmas movie?

And what do you think is mine? I'll give you a hint, He's makin a list and checkin it twice BANG BANG.

wally world weirdos

Today we ran to Wally world. And once again we met one of those odd people that makes me wonder "Why me?" People when did we stop trying? I mean honestly! I am no peach by any means. But I draw the line at leaving the house in fleece with kid pleasing characters all over them. Peep Show

Okay so I may not do my make up every day. And I really don't have a great wardrobe. But I don't embarrass my children by stealing their pjs to wear to town either. It frightens me every time we go to Wal-Mart cause I know there's goin' to be that weirdo that has to go shopping right when I do.

If it isn't some one with a slight megalomaniac streak seeking attention, it's the parents that make you wonder why their isn't an IQ requirement to reproduce. You know who I'm talkin' about. They have their kids on the leashes with the pacifier and diapers and nothing else on. When you pass them you wonder what a thirteen year old is doing in the diaper, forget the other stuff. If the kid can walk and talk and throw a fit it is time to start disciplinin'.

And ladies I know the celebs do it but honestly no one and I mean NOT ONE PERSON on this planet wants to see your big old belly. It isn't cute, it isn't cuddly. It's skin stretched beyond the normal means. Stretch marks are all well and good and come with the territory, but we don't want a front row view to the makin' of yours.

practice run

Oh the weather out side is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. And since we have no way to go. Let it...rain? Well, that's my version right about now. But it's all good. My stay with mom and dad has been extended unexpectedly, thank the van, and we are actually enjoying it.

I know who'd thunk it right? Who actually wants to stay with their parents when they have a nice warm house to go to? I do. It helps that Gypsy comes with us so no worries about destruction. But I love seeing my mom and dad. And I love going to our little churches down here.

One big difference between this house and ours. Daddy. Daddy is the greatest grandpa ever, not surprising he was a pretty decent dad. But (there's always a but) he is a little OCD. After the first two days he started having panic attacks. The kids are a little messy (my fault partly, theirs mostly.)

So today we are practicing Daddy's rules. No the boots are not suppose to be in the floor. Line them up at the door. No we don't play with toys on the table. Quit making paper airplanes and keep the first ones you made. We do NOT make confetti in Granny's blender. No we are not disturbing Pappaw while he watches football. Do you want to be the next log thrown on the fire?!

They have been on a destructive kick since the van broke down....again. But hey if they live through this maybe I'll have them trained better. (I don't really believe that. I'm closer to believin the big man in red will bring me a brand new van that runs perfect. Santa are you listening?)

But I'm lookin' at this as a practice run for Christmas, then I'll know how much duct tape and rope is actually needed. I already know at least four rolls to shut my older brother up. (He's a magician. His best trick is his head fits in the door. Followed by the fact he can make a grizzly bear with a chainsaw appear at night in his room to keep us all awake. I don't know how he makes it through the night without waking himself up but he manages.)

Personally I am considerin' a coup and making him sleep in the barn...at the neighbors.

Then there's my mother. Dear, sweet, loving, mother. She reads my blog. She took my advice from the last entry to heart. Right in the middle of my ultraconservative family ( armed with guns and cuffs even {bounty hunters}) she announces Sheena HATES Sarah Palin. Was this even close to accurate? NO. What does she do? She announces this and WALKS AWAY. I thought moms were suppose to be on their children's side?

So anyone at all have an interesting story from Thanksgiving?

ahhh the holidays.....pass the gin

We're here at our second of three Thanksgivings. Honeybear accomplished his goal and the Christmas tree hasn't made it's appearance yet. Wasn't hard really. Just schedule three Thanksgivings insist you have one at home before the festivities start and stir. How exactly was I suppose to find the time between cooking?

But I have found an easy way to make it through the holidays with various frightening relatives. No not alcohol. Dress up nicely. But a bright smile on your face. And make fun of the person nearest you. Pretty soon everyone joins in and you slink away to do it again in the next room.

One of two things will happen. People that are uptight will get angry and the "jokes" will get more personal. (And we all know that's more entertaining than football.) Or the jokes will get louder and the laughter will become indulgent as the insults get more outlandish. (I do believe someone accused somebody else of eating the Easter Bunny.)

Now the best thing to do in this situation is just blend in to the background and watch what you've started. But every once in a while people start looking for the cause of their discomfort and want a little revenge. There is no way of avoiding this (if you try the accusations can get way out there and said in a serious tone since you put them in this position.) So have some standard comebacks ready.

Now "your mama" is juvenile. But placed in the right situation (for instance, said mama is standing next to her offspring) can be hilarious. Unless of course they're your mama too. (Sometimes it's still appropriate.)

Then there's the always fun parrot. This is also juvenile. But once again with the right person can be a party pleaser. Usually it has to be the know it all of the crowd. People enjoy know it alls frustrated. (At least when it's me as the know it all.)

My personal favorite is throwing someone else under the bus. Usually Honeybear. But I think he enjoys it since he is king of one liners and comebacks. Sometimes this back fires and he aims it back at you. (Which is actually closer to about 75% of the time.) But hey I'm an easy target. Redneck beauty queen, homeschooler, and all around goof ball, but it's all part of my charm.

Now this is not a technique for the meek and mild be prepared for battle and remember my favorite comeback at all times. You can't win a battle of wits with me if you're not armed.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'all

Dear Tooth Fairy

Dear Tooth Fairy,
Please refrain from removing Madison's tooth till later this week. She would really like to keep it till she can show her Pappaw and Granny this weekend. She has promised you can have it immediately there after. Thank you.

Madison has lost her first tooth. It's a unique little piranha tooth. I'm guessing it's something to do with her inability to thrive that her first teeth are so tiny. But never the less with her sensitivity to...well everything, this was quite the process.

It started over a week ago with Madison's announcement that her tooth was loose. We dismissed it cause there wasn't a whole lot to do anyways. We knew it would practically have to be falling out before she would let us near it. So nothing else was said or done except an occasional reminder it was loose and a uh huh wiggle it reply.

Today as I cooked dinner she giggled periodically and finally we asked what her deal was. She told us her tooth was dancing around. Curious, I beckoned her over and wiggled it with my finger. Yep, it was definitely loose. Loose enough it was actually lower in the gum and sticking our at a weird angle.

Her daddy said let me see it. He was trying to get enough leverage to pop it out. She backed up and dodged him repeatedly. No way was Daddy getting near her teeth. (Here's a quirky thing about SPD-she laughed. She was in pain and she just kept laughing uncontrollably.) Never once did she cry.

Whenever her older brother loses a tooth it's all Honeybear and I can do to hold him down and get it out. He screams and screams like you would not believe. Once we have him it's simple to pop out but you would think we were trying to pull out the rooted ones with dull pliers when it's that time. All because he swallowed his second one.

Anyway, we finally gave up and told her to get an apple. She giggled every time she took a bite. (In all honesty it's a tiny bit odd. But hey that's Madison for you. She is unique.)She was intrigued, her tooth was now sticking out towards her lip. She was mesmerized when she found blood leaking from around it. She giggled every time she saw where she had bit.

Finally after letting me look, and practically choking while giggling, and me wiggling we convinced her to go see Daddy. Daddy was cautiously subtle. He acted all puzzled got her to come closer. Then he quietly placed his thumb under her chin. With leverage he quickly took his index finger and POP the tooth released mostly from the gum, held by a minuscule thread. Madison was giggling like crazy, and reached up and plucked the tooth from it's precarious position.

Never once did she stop giggling. Even with the always present blood of a newly pulled tooth welling slowly to the surface, she just kept giggling. With the tiny minuscule tooth held tightly in her hand like a key to the land of fairies, she giggled and touched the exposed gum.

She finally handed it over to me. I kid you not this thing is maybe a quarter inch long and quarter inch wide. She insists she wants to keep it till this weekend when she can show her grandparents and cousin-hence the note to keep the Tooth Fairy from taking it tonight. Everyone cross your fingers and clap your hands and repeat after me, I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES, I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES.
We don't want to disappoint Madison do we?