Monday, June 28, 2010

mops and messes

Remember the comment yesterday about our daughter vomiting profusely? Well, my lovely daughter enjoys sharing-now her baby brother is sick. And he is not as good a shot as his sister. Ugh!

So far we've hosed out the truck, his first crime scene. The sofa and floor next to it. Double ugh! And of course the bathroom. Now this is all in a days work for a mom, right? What complicates the situation is mommy's little helper, Bella 2. She loves my wet jet mopper and uses every chance to spray and mop. Which normally isn't a problem, except today she went running and slid through the mess.

Talk about screaming! Me hollering at Bella to hold on and Degan to relax. Bella screaming bloody murder in the bathroom, Madison hollering to let me know what was happening in the living room. Trying to figure out how to be two places at once (which doesn't work no matter how hard you try). Utter chaos reigned! My darling Honeybear chose that moment to walk in, the look on his face! Finally everyone was cleaned up and calmed down.

Then it was feeding time for our creepy crawlies. Honeybear decided it was time for the next step up in baby mice, jumpers. For those who don't have their own creepy crawlies, there are levels of mice: pinkies (newborns & naked), fuzzy (fuzzy), and jumpers (not quite full grown). We got our first jumpers and found out how they were so named. After putting Slither and Powder (our two juvenile corn snakes) into their feeding cages, Honeybear opens the mice box- and out leaps this little spotted mouse.

Madison and Degan scream, Honeybear stoops down and tries to catch him. The jumper skurries under the sofa. Honeybear lifts the sofa, I look, try to grab him. Not about to become snake food, the jumper heads for Martin(our oldest). Martin tries to catch him, bumps into his daddy's legs- who in turns almost drops the sofa on my head! Madison sees the mouse, gets hysterical and runs to the front door. As she runs screaming into the yard, the jumper senses freedom and follows suit.

Took twenty minutes to convince Madison to come back in. Anyone else want to tell me being a stay at home mom isn't as exciting as a "real" job? This was my day and its only two thirds of the way through!

If you don't like snakes don't look at the pic (if its not to late) can someone please tell me why my pictures are huge no matter what I do?!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

so excited

I have my first reader! And it wasn't even Mama! Although I love my Mama. It was the one who fiinally convinced me to write for more than my kids (hey they're the easiest critics to please). Thank you Ms. Kathy Truitt. She also requested one thing so here it is (I hope) a picture of Cupid... she's about to molt so she's not as bright as normal.
My kids are now dancing around singing "Mamas an author" (once again remember they're easy critics). Anyone ever ask you "Are those all yours?" I have discovered the easiest way to handle this is one of two answers. 1) wanna see my stretch marks? 2) oh no the other 10 are at home. Why is it so hard to believe that a dark haired woman can have two strawberry blondes? The other 2 are brunettes. Then we run into people Martin knew growing up they look at the kids and go "those all yours" I love his answer "hmmm if they aren't she's got some explaining to do." People trust me they're ours we wouldn't be broke if they weren't . Oh well I can always claim temporay insanity. (Although most who know me would claim its permanent)

joys of the morning

Oh yes-I am one of those despicable people that wake up ready for the day...usually. This morning was not one of those mornings however. I woke up to the sound of the first summer thunderstorm rolling through, not the problem. Gypsy Rose, my faithful pug, was jumping on me signaling the need for her morning romp, not the problem. 3 of the kids were up eating yogurts while our oldest girl (Madison 5) was laying in bed after vomiting profusely, still not the problem. The problem being that the kids' dogs had decided to counter surf at our island bar that was growing half potatoes into plants.

This means we have 6 sweet potatos cut in half, with toothpicks holding about an inch of potato in water. Not all were sprouting, although we have some that are doing quite well. They ,however, knocked over 2 that we had decided to throwout if they did not sprout by tomorrow. Big mistake! Apparently those two were rotting from the inside under the water. Oh the horrific odor, its quite nauseating. Even cleaning up the mess and spraying ferbreeze will not make it go away.

I have decided we can pack up and move. Instead of trying to wait for that odor to vacate the premises.
Darn! My hubby says moving won't work (see what I mean about early training). Gotta go mix up some acid to eat the floor away were it spilt, blog ya later.

feint instead of faint

You've probably heard Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. (See I can spell..mostly) I agree, however, I like putting on positive and creative twists. I think moms are warriors combating chaos and dirty dishes.If you look up feint in the dictionary it means a deceptive movement while boxing or fencing meant to disarm your opponent.

Now if your 2 yr old is running around naked and your in-laws are going to be arriving in say 15 minutes. Do you want to sit there twisting your hands going "oh dear, please stop and listen to mommy". Or do you want to be able to stand on the other side of your bedroom door getting ready. Turn and give THE LOOK and have them all stop in their tracks. Me personally I prefer the latter. (Not that I have perfected THE LOOK that can take years or even decades) If I sat around all day waiting for kids to listen, hmmmm, well they'd starved to death long ago at the very least. They keep ya on your toes you always have to be ready with a "feint".

In our home there's 4 kids (ages 7,5, 4.5, and 2) one husband, 3 dogs, 2 snakes, Norbit the dragon, Cupid the pink (yep I said pink) tarantula, a guinea pig, and a beta. Chaos is here to stay at least another 16 yrs I have yet to beat it but I can try to manage it. Heck it keeps you entertained as long as you remember you have the first 18 then you have sporadic visits from kids and maybe grandbabies (hallejuah!) But you have to live with the one you chose to father those kids another 60 yrs(this can be a challenge if said hubby isn't trained properly earlier on). So try not to resent the stretch marks and gray hair its a uniform all mothers are given.