Friday, November 5, 2010

battle of the sexes

Apparently, my children believe they are oppressed. That they are the only children made to work for their, oh so precious, Wii time. They have decided to ban together for the purpose of freeing themselves from the oppression. Great example of careful what you wish for.

The rule was ,before yesterday, thirty minutes of chores gets you thirty minutes of free Wii time. (Sometimes we bowl and such for p.e. or just family fun.) Well, suddenly the thirty minutes that would usually accomplish a specific chore (ie. the dishes, or an animal cage cleaned) no longer accomplished anything.

Finally I had to put my foot down. I mean, come on, I was on the verge of actually doin' the dishes myself on a regular basis. Yesterday in one hour they got exactly five plates, two glasses, and three forks done. This was with all three of the oldest working together.

When they then asked for their Wii time, I stopped, came in the kitchen to relieve them, and was mortified. I told them absolutely no way on Earth were they going to get their Wii time. They all three looked at me dumbfounded.

"But the timer went off twice." This was Martin's response. Then Madison, "We did our time, that's the rule." Did our time? I'm sorry I wasn't aware we were in prison. Well, it wasn't over yet. Bella heard Wii time, and came running in with all the remotes bear hugged in her grubby little hand, hollerin', "Wii time. Wii time."

What do my children do? If you said obediently went about finding something else to do, like say dishes. You haven't been paying attention. Martin walks past me takes a remote from Bella, and goes about like he's gettin' ready for some intense Mario Carts. (If they want to do a multiple player game they get an hour limit instead of their individual time. Which was the chosen option today.)

At this point I have to lift my jaw off the ground. I ask Martin what he thinks he is doing. To which he responds, "Gettin' our game ready." I'm sorry? Did I not just speak? I could have swore my mouth and lips moved in unison to form the sounds necessary to say No... I pointed this out.

I get several different protests at once all along these lines. "We did our time." "We followed the rule." "The timer went off." and of course "Wii time. Wii time. Wiiiiitiiiiimmmmmme." (Bella loves Wii time since she is "player four" the computer that always wins. Come on-you don't think a two year old can actually do the Wii? Well, she is a mean sword player.)

I tell them no again, and give them a choice. They either can go play quietly in their rooms, do the dishes properly for thirty minutes and get Wii, or go clean their rooms and bathroom if they want to argue further. They chose d) none of the above. They quietly retreat to their rooms, while I assume they will just go and play. I was wrong-they plotted.

About ten minutes later they all line up in the living room. All silent, until I turn to see what they want. (The silence should have been a clue.) Martin looks at me and says, "We have decided that if you won't give us our Wii time, we aren't doin' anymore chores."

I will wait while you gather your wits after that shocker....

Ready? Okay. Well, I actually remained calm. I walked over to the sofa, sat down, and waved them over. I calmly told them that had two options. They apologized and went and corrected the situation. Or they could watch Mommy and Daddy play the Wii the next month with out ever touching the remote-only after doin' all of Mommy's chores that day.

Madison tentatively raised her hand. "All of your chores?" I nodded and said, "Yes, even cleaning the toilets with a toothbrush." She looked at her brothers, I saw Martin give her a little shake of his head. United they stand, right? Wrong, she looked back at me, then back at him, and walked to the sink and started washing dishes. Degan followed.

Martin stood there in defiance for a moment longer, trying to stare me down. Lucky for him, Bella took the chance to whack him on the head while he was distracted. As soon as his concentration was broken, his will crumbled.

As he walks to the sink, I hear him mumble, "Sisters, why sisters?" A few minutes later as I am changing laundry I hear one more comment, "If you were a boy this wouldn't have happened." .....followed by "Owwww, Madison that hurt."
"Good thing I'm not a boy, or it would be broken."

Thank God above the levels of estrogen and testosterone are balanced in this house.


  1. Thanks Richie. That's an awesome comment coming from the king of crude comedy.

    Everyone should visit Richie's blog, if you have a stomache for crudity, with poignant moments thrown in for good measure.

  2. This was hilarious! Sisters are so much wiser than brothers. :) Oh, man, you gotta work hard to get your child labor! Which is why I don't plan on introducing video games for a loooooong time.

  3. Yeah, our Wii was "broken" over the summer months. Thank goodness, no one noticed that plugging it back in "fixed" it.

  4. Snort!

    Love that you stood firm.

    And love that they tried to stand firm.

    And then crumbled.

    Happy sighs.

    Love this story.

  5. I am just happy he crumbled. It is four against one, ya know?

    Oh how I love your snort. Makes me feel so much better knowing someone else out there does it too.

  6. Please don't let my kids know that your kids are being rewarded with Wii Time for doing chores! Mine are just pure slave labor! ;-)

  7. Oh there's plenty of slave labor as well, this is just a mild incentive for greater reward. They just don't know it. 3:)


All my city slickers tell me what ya think.