Saturday, November 6, 2010

battle continues

Apparently the vigorous fall air, is fillin' the kids full of vim and vinegar. We did not have one, or two, or even three episodes. This has been an all day thing. So in the interest of keepin' it short, I will give ya the dialogue mostly.

Scene: Wakin' up to voices in the living room.

Madison: No way are we watching Superman again. I will not allow it.

Martin: Well, I got the remote. You can't do anything about it.

Here we could hear some scuffling, then other noises. Turns out Bella thought this was a game and went after the remote from Martin. Degan, in favor of all things superhero, was blocking her from gettin' to Martin. Who was dancing with glee, as Superman loaded. (Oh! Superman was on Netflix, which is routed through the previously mentioned Wii.)

Martin: Hey, you can't do that! That's not fair! Gimme that!

Here we hear Madison laughing evilly, and then running footsteps. Madison's solution to the dispute was to get another of the Wii controllers...and hit the back button. Disabling the download. To which Martin thought the proper response was to tackle her and take it. She gracefully slipped his hold.

This situation was repeated once more when she acted like she was givin' in and gave him the remote only to go and get another one. Foiling his attempt at download again.

Martin: Don't ya know girls, aren't suppose to try and control men.

Madison: Don't YOU know that men's responses should be yes, dear.

Now I'm not keepin' track or anything but this is two for Madison and zero for Martin.


Scene: Kids doing the morning dishes, while I make gluten free cookies for Daddy.

Madison: Shouldn't you be wearing an apron.

Martin: Shouldn't you be makin' yourself pretty for the day.

Madison: I already got plenty of beauty sleep. Maybe you should try it.

Degan: Boys don't care about pretty. Chicks dig scars.
Degan learned this from his Pappaw when he broke his nose. Thanks Daddy.)

I turn around and break it up. Degan looks at me with his angelic face, pulls his arms up in body builder pose and....

Degan: I'm a MAN. (in as deep a voice as he can do) Then he turns here and there and Martin joins in.

Martin: Do you have your ticket?

I am thinkin' dear Lord no please don't let him say it.

Martin: Your goin' to need it for this gun show. (Then actually kisses his arm.)

As Madison walks by with a cookie for Daddy, she never even pauses.

Madison: Degan's are bigger.

I had no idea these children inherited my sarcastic wit till this week. I could not be any prouder, as long as they don't turn on me.


Scene: Sittin' at the table doing math problems.

Martin: Why do we have to know fractions? The only place we've ever used them is cooking. And cooking is for girls.

Me: Well, what if you have to live on your own before you get married, you'll have to cook. You'll need fractions.

Madison: *Snorts Ya. Sure, Mom.

Me: You don't think you'll need fractions?

Madison: No. I don't think Martin will ever get married.

I think Martin is just in shock right now. Normally he's the one sayin' things that make me have to contain myself. He's just not used to Madison talkin' like this. He's really off his game.


Scene: Outside workin' on my van that recently had a brief and intimate relationship with a deer. (The deer then left it for our freezer.)

Honeybear (disembodied under the hood):Get me a screwdriver. Philips.

Madison: Where's it at?

Degan: Where else would it be? In the toolbox. (Rolls eyes as he walks away)

About five minutes later-no screw driver. Madison has abandoned this grimy job in favor of swinging, and me, I'm just admiring my laying hen. (No matter what Honeybear tells ya. I was NOT cooing. Nor was I babytalking.)

Honeybear: Where's that screwdriver?

Degan: In the toolbox.

Honeybear: Why isn't it in my hand?

Degan: Well, Martin and Madison are ahead of me. I think we better question them.

Honeybear: Where are they?

Degan: In the toolbox, where I left them.

No, he did not lock them in. Apparently all three of them had gotten into the big truck's toolbox. While Honeybear specifically had them gettin' tools from the little truck's toolbox. Everyone had abandoned the screwdriver in favor of playing with the tape measure.

A couple more days of this...Well, anyone gotta spare room?

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