Friday, November 26, 2010

ahhh the holidays.....pass the gin

We're here at our second of three Thanksgivings. Honeybear accomplished his goal and the Christmas tree hasn't made it's appearance yet. Wasn't hard really. Just schedule three Thanksgivings insist you have one at home before the festivities start and stir. How exactly was I suppose to find the time between cooking?

But I have found an easy way to make it through the holidays with various frightening relatives. No not alcohol. Dress up nicely. But a bright smile on your face. And make fun of the person nearest you. Pretty soon everyone joins in and you slink away to do it again in the next room.

One of two things will happen. People that are uptight will get angry and the "jokes" will get more personal. (And we all know that's more entertaining than football.) Or the jokes will get louder and the laughter will become indulgent as the insults get more outlandish. (I do believe someone accused somebody else of eating the Easter Bunny.)

Now the best thing to do in this situation is just blend in to the background and watch what you've started. But every once in a while people start looking for the cause of their discomfort and want a little revenge. There is no way of avoiding this (if you try the accusations can get way out there and said in a serious tone since you put them in this position.) So have some standard comebacks ready.

Now "your mama" is juvenile. But placed in the right situation (for instance, said mama is standing next to her offspring) can be hilarious. Unless of course they're your mama too. (Sometimes it's still appropriate.)

Then there's the always fun parrot. This is also juvenile. But once again with the right person can be a party pleaser. Usually it has to be the know it all of the crowd. People enjoy know it alls frustrated. (At least when it's me as the know it all.)

My personal favorite is throwing someone else under the bus. Usually Honeybear. But I think he enjoys it since he is king of one liners and comebacks. Sometimes this back fires and he aims it back at you. (Which is actually closer to about 75% of the time.) But hey I'm an easy target. Redneck beauty queen, homeschooler, and all around goof ball, but it's all part of my charm.

Now this is not a technique for the meek and mild be prepared for battle and remember my favorite comeback at all times. You can't win a battle of wits with me if you're not armed.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'all


  1. I haven't used "your mamma" in years. I think it's time for a comeback comeback.

  2. I completely agree. Just wait till the next family gatherin. My mama is so goin' to get it. She threw me under the bus. You are not allowed to use my moves against me, that's just wrong!


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