School time

So it's that time of year. School is back in session. Freedom is here again. Oh! Wait! My kids are homeschooled. That means hours of my life in lesson planning. Hours of preparations. Hours wasted cause as soon as I carefully plan something, thinking I have thought of all possible tangents. Ah! Even after three years I am never fully prepared. They always come up with a something I didn't anticipate!

 For example, first day back in school hours. Bella being five is now a full time classroom participant. How exciting right? Wrong.
 Me: Bella, what letter comes after A?

 Bella: None.

Madison: That's the first one in the alphabet, silly. (Here is where Bella promptly swats her sister on the head with her notebook, guessing she didn't appreciate being called silly.)

 Me: Bella, don't hit your sister!

 Bella: mumbling

Me: Excuse me young lady?

 Bella: I said I can spell my name and A is the end. And I am the world so nothing is after it.

 Me: First, you are not the center of the world. Second, the world revolves around the sun. And third, I asked what came after A in the alphabet.

 Bella: (perking up) oh well, I'm sunny. So still all me.

 Martin: Well, I'm the oldest son so I'm the center.

 Degan: Well, I'm a son too.

 Madison: (sing songy) Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, girls go to college to get more knowledge.

Me: No one is the center of the world. Nor does our universe revolve around any of you. Now who can tell me what letter comes between H and J.

 Martin: I thought girls went to Mars to eat candy bars.

 Degan: I want a candy bar.

Madison: How do you spell that?

 Bella: Mom I'm bored.

 Me: (crying quietly in the corner) It's I. It's I. I. I. I.

Yep it's school time again.