Levels of Hello can you say that again

      Fall is here. I love it. Windows open. Temperature just right for sitting outside with a campfire. Warm days sedge way into chilly nights perfect for throw blankets and cuddling. And of course the change in temperature makes it feel like my ear is being stabbed repeatedly by a screwdriver. Yay, fun for all.

     Okay so that's whiny. But seriously. I either feel like a rabbit that has had cotton shoved in their ears, or a goat whose friend was head rubbing and accidentally caught it's horn in your ear and is trying to to jerk it out. Anyone whose ever had an earache or toothache can relate. I whine for a reason though. (And no I don't mean just cause I wanna.)

       Frequently, without reason, my already impaired hearing decides to fail altogether. There's actually many levels of failing. There's Charlie Brown level where I hear noise or voices as noises. Specifically the adults talking in Charlie Brown-waaa wa waaaa wa wa. There's the hilly almost out of network getting half a bar phone call level...did...yesterday....miss....call....love....what....sasquatch. Here's where I am trying to figure out if I misheard, misread the lips, totally missed someone behind me changing the subject or if I have just been insulted for unrequited love statements. Let's not forget the WILL SOMEONE JUST PICK UP THE DARDBLASTED PHONE or equally annoying TUNE THE STUPID RADIO levels. I think those one are pretty obvious.

     I tell y'all this because of course my woe filled tale is one about my hearing being gone. I hear nuttin'!!! There's the slight buzz of a distant fly and a certain ache. So I sign to Honeybear I was heading to bed. (I tend to be all over the place in volume which greatly annoys him so signing is normally the way to go.) He said he'd let out Gypsy Rose and be right in. I am in our room, in the bed, adjusting pillows. When out of the corner of my eye I see our curtain shifting. I start screaming and beating at the head. I can only assume that Honeybear will come running to my rescue....till I feel the beard. Honestly my first coherent thought was not a ladylike one so I will just let y'all imagine what I was thinking. I do know what was coming out of his mouth...laughter. Thinking about it even now my one word unladylike thought comes back.  Forgive me mama.

        But this morning Honeybear still couldn't keep a straight face. So I didn't keep a straight face when I took a page out of the kids' book and addressed him as poopyhead all morning till he apologized. Now I am sitting here faint muffled noises all I hear. Hiding from my husband cause I know as soon as he comes home and figures out I can't hear him he'll do the kids classic. Sneak up on mommy. Oh thee well. Til' next time y'all.