Let me start by saying one thing-I love, adore, and idolize John Wayne. Talk about real men, he was THE man. I believe I was the only teenage girl of my generation that had a framed photo of him hanging on their wall. And probably the only John Wayne fan that absolutely loathed the Cowboys. Who in their right mind wants to watch the Duke die? But I digress.
Last night we rented the new Alice in Wonderland. The kids really enjoyed the movie, they adore Johnny Depp. (Proof they're mine) The only thing was Madison pointing out that Alice's intended fiance was well...a sissy. What then ensued was one of Honeybear's classic promises. He has the girls make promises that he swears are legally binding. So far he's got promises of : no dating till thirty, never pierce their tongues, and he gets to approve all boyfriends. Any takers on whether or not the girls at sixteen will agree that these are binding promises?
The new promise however is that they won't bring home any sissies. To which Madison asked why anyone would want to hang around a sissy. Then she told Honeybear "I want to marry you daddy." Which I have to say was cute, right up until she decided Daddy was to old. That's when she decided she'd rather marry the boy from Spiderwick, he knows about fairies.
All was quiet until we put in McLintock. (John and Patrick Wayne! *sigh*) Which is where the talk of real men started. Somewhere along the way the boys and Honeybear decided that the men that intended to marry the girls must pass a man test first. Thirteen tasks to be exact.
So far they've only come up with six, but hey they have 25 years to figure out the other seven. The six tasks so far are as follows: 1) roll down a steep hill in a tractor tire (to show he can be talked into anything)
2) take apart a gun and put it back together-blindfolded (to show he can accidently shoot his big toe*wink wink Daddy)
3) cut down a tree and make it into kindling-with an ax (who knows why, maybe to show he can keep her warm)
4) catch a chicken that's loose in the yard (cause Rocky was quite a man)
5) drive in five t posts with a sledge hammer (to show he isn't smart enough to use a post hole driver)
6) kill something, skin it, and smoke it (won't fit in around here if he doesn't know how)
Now is it me or does there seem to be a quality of...ego in all these tasks. If Martin, 7, had his way all tasks would be done blindfolded. With this gauntlet set before any guys coming to court I fear I may never get to plan a wedding. Although Bella will probably order some stout farm boy to meet her at the altar. She's not one for waiting for others to do what she wants.