Tuesday, July 20, 2010

recording artists

I am thinking of recording a cd. Mom's Greatest Hits. It'll be a cd that could save millions of dollars a year in doctor visits. Thousands of woman will no longer suffer from strained vocal cords. Just one button and sit back with a glass of tea and let the cd do your repetitive nagging.

Think of the titles of the singles! Section one will be for inside play time."If I told you once I've told you twice" stopping that annoying question asked fifty times in a row. "Stop hitting your sibling" you could let them play and never worry about the bickering again. "If no ones bleeding I don't need to hear it" will make tattletaling a thing of the past.

Section two would have to be for the lecture classics. "What were you thinking" this could take over after your voice has weakened from an overly long rant. "I don't care what everyone elses mother said" for those whose childern choice in friends can be questionable. "Did you think we wouldn't find out-really" to guilt any suspicious parents childern into confession. And my parents all time favorite "I'm not angry-just dissapointed" (
like they ever really mean that one right?)

Section three would have to be a primer of guilt. A hour long tract to make your childern see how much they truly owe their parents. Playing often guarantees to make your child so guilt ridden they will never forget another birthday or mother's day again.

The final section will be classic everyday sayings. Oldies such as; Act your age, and Grow up. Or if you play with matches you'll wet the bed (never used this one personally, but I've heard it was popular in the sixties). Classics like ; little pitchers have big ears and childern are to be seen and not heard. And lastly my three personal favorites; lay down with dogs and you'll get up with fleas, Why me, God? and of course Where did I fail?

What do you think billboard top 20 material or what?


  1. How about 'Because I'm your mother, that's why.' or another winner...'because I said so.'

    These are great!! I think you are on to something, really.

  2. By George, I think I heard that!! Copyrights would be worth millions!!!!!!!!!


All my city slickers tell me what ya think.