conversations with the wall

No the kids have not driven me that nuts, unless talking to the computer counts. I'm talking about children, of course, children! The things they somehow never hear and the amazing things they do.

Case in point I have mentioned before, while at the in-law's they repeatedly ignored us telling them not to use the play grocery cart as a derby car. But Grammy sneaks off to get ice cream, and starts scooping in a discreet spot. And here the kids come on the run. With Martin's exclamation of "I can hear ice cream being scooped three miles away!" But he couldn't hear us repeatedly telling him to knock it off, in louder and louder voices.

It doesn't matter what the situation is, you tell them to pick up their toys, knock off the rough housing, or do as your told, absolutely deaf. You stumble over a skateboard, utter a small curse under your breath-they hear ya in the barn.

You say undesirable remarks about say a teacher (hey wouldn't you in my case.) And they proudly announce it at Open House. While you cringe in the back of the class, and act like you don't know who that child belongs to.

How about that joke you say to your hubby, you know the ones that are suppose to stay between just you two. Right up until you find out one of the heathens is hiding behind a door, or piece of furniture. You know right after they're told to go to bed and stay there for the tenth time.Then you run into a friend in a store and they loudly tell everyone within five aisles that mommy plays hide and seek with the mail-man.

My favorite is the one that you are sure came from somewhere else. You know that comment that you're appalled came out your child's mouth. That comment you are sure is from outside sources, the bus, a stranger in the store. Only to catch your favorite adult show say the very comment your child uttered a week ago. Oops!

Then of course their is another category; the things you never thought you'd hear yourself say.

-"Don't throw the cat!"

-"Please quit shoving rice in your brother's ear!"

-"No the dog did not eat all the cereal bars."

-"You fed what to the pig?!"

-"Don't bathe the guinea pig in the crock pot!"

-"When your real parents get here they owe me money."

-"Don't play with that it'll fall off." (This was contributed by Honeybear.)

-"Did you go potty?" (To Honeybear as we were leaving the house, oops.)

-"My favorite Sesame Street character is ________"

-"We do NOT give toys a bath in the toilet."

-"But it's my turn to leave."

You get the point. Well I must go now according to the kids I must go catch a pig-again.