Thursday, September 30, 2010

Scout's greatest escape

Well, we've been up a little over an hour and it's already been an exciting day. We had another game of chase the pig. This time however, it was a different story. He did not easily come to us. He did not allow himself to be led back to the pen by food. This morning was a comedy of errors.

Let me set the stage for you. Martin walks out of the pig pen while talking to his daddy. He walks towards Honeybear to continue the conversation. Does anyone see th problem here? That's right, he forgot to close the pen! Out RUNS Scout.

Honeybear hollers, and Madison and I turn to look at the problem. Scout has ran into the dog house, he's looking out and Zues, the old man boxer, is looking in. Degan had just put food down, and Zues decides food was more important to save than his house, starts chowing down. All the while he is watching Scout.

While this is unfolding, the rest of us are rearranging ourselves to keep him from getting to the road. Scout, seeing this has, decided the dog house is no sanctuary, and cautiously steps out. Martin ,meanwhile, tries to do as he has seen Honeybear do. He goes to grab Scout's back legs. Only he grabs him around the waist. Scout does not take this action as affection, he squeals and takes off running-WITH MARTIN HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.

Well, Diesel takes it as a new game. With Martin holding on (he took his mutton busting to heart) Diesel comes along the other side and tries to herd him. Finally Martin lets go, and rolls about three times before he comes to a stop. This causes Diesel to stop and come bounce on his boy, and I'd like to think check on him. Truth is, probably, he thought he was continuing the game.

Well without either one of his previous encumberments, Scout heads straight for the road. The only two in his path are Bella and me. He's heading for one of us directly-and it ain't me. Bella sees this and starts screaming and running for me. For some odd reason Scout decides he'll change course-directly at Bella and me! I do the one thing that seems rational-I throw Bella at him. Okay, just kidding. I grabbed her and kind of did an oogey-boogey dance and hollered at him.

Alright everyone...get the horrified images out of your head. Anyway, I must have been quite the frightening apparition, 'cause he squealed, dug his heels in, and did a one eighty.

At this point Honeybear, Martin, and Diesel are ready again. Scout sees this and decides to change directions again- only to see me, and apparently I am the more frightening of the two choices. He heads straight for the boys, the whole time making this gaw awful grunting, squealing noise. A challenge perhaps. One Diesel is more than happy to take up. So these two are now running side by side, with D giving him a nip in the shoulders and guiding him the whole way-to the barn.

(Here I will insert that Diesel is an American Bulldog, like Chance off Homeward Bound. They can and are used for farm dogs. Diesel however is ten months old and never been taught anything more challenging than "lay".)Which is probably while doing an excellent job of herding, he got the wrong location.

Now ,at least, Scout is in an enclosed place-the barn. The bad part-in the stir of him getting loose, the drumsticks pen didn't get clasped properly. Three of the larger drumsticks took this as an invite to jump out and scratch in the hay pile. So now we have chicks running from Scout, Scout being chased by Diesel, and us frantically trying to pull everyone apart.

This is where I thought about throwing my hands in the air, and shutting the barn and just let nature take it course. We'll just eat whatever is left standing. But fearing Diesel might either be the one left standing or be one of the unfortunate ones consumed. So that wasn't really an option. Honeybear was still trying to grab Scout's legs, Martin was trying to grab D's collar, and the others were frantically trying to grab chicks. I took the situation in hand. I grabbed Diesel the middle threw him out of the barn. Grabbed whatever child I could get a hold of, and throw them out too.

All that is left is Honeybear and Scout. Man vs. Beast. He grabs Scout's back legs (don't forget this is now a hundred some pound animal) and drags him to the pen. I have to say that I was not laughing at this point. But when that pen door slammed, I busted up laughing. Honeybear was not, however.

Oh well, at least we had no need for coffee. Caffeine is a killer, ya know?

No comments:

Post a Comment

All my city slickers tell me what ya think.