Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the green acres test

There are so many comedians who have routines about rednecks and idiots. What about people who believe they're "country". My best friend, Ro, swears she is country-umm NO! So this is for her.

If you think your country but you have always been able to see into your neighbors house. You aren't country. While there are those rare country neighbors that live within a couple hundred feet of each other, we prefer not being able to see our neighbors houses let alone their dirty laundry.hehehe

If you have never held a chicken or in her case freak if a three day old chick looks at you. You aren't country. Once again not all of us own poultry but normally we have some form of livestock. We prefer growing our own food, not buying it at the grocery store. My two year old knows more about were food comes from then her nine yr old. (Bella points at Scout and shouts "bacon!")

If you've never butchered your own meat. You're not country. Yes we all have done the butcher shop route at one time or another. But come deer season Pops' garage is the butcher shop. Day and night we are in there slicing, dicing, and grinding. With the occasional eyeball fight for fun. (One has been stuck to the roof since last year!)

If you take your vehicle into the shop to tighten a hose clamp. You aren't country. Twice now Honeybear has gone to help them when they were about to have it towed to the shop. It took no time at all and a little elbow grease to fix. Things I have to check every couple of days to my van, they can't even figure out the name of-that thingy there in the front. Ya know the one that leaks water everywhere.

When the hardest chore your kids have is to clean their room. You aren't country. My four year old has twice as many chores as her adorable thirteen year old daughter. When her kids come out and want to go do something and can't figure out how to water a chicken to help out-they aren't country either. lol. When asked to grab some hay and they look around in bewilderment with them standing next to the haystack-they really aren't country kids.

If you have a fence around your yard, and that's all the property you got. You aren't country. I know some of us fence off part of our yards, but they aren't the size of half a postage stamp. When kids can't run in a circle without worrying about running into a fence it's a small yard.

Now I have talked about how all these friends of mine are so citified right? They all think they're country! Whether it be Britty Bacon and her weird ideas about organic. Or Rona who swears she's country but had never seen a real live pig before yesterday, and afraid of a chick she could squash easily. This ain't country! This is intellectual country, ya you know where the food comes from good for you. But knowing it and living it is two totally different things completely.

So what are you classified as Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies, or 90210 (did I get that right?)?


  1. Right now I feel like I'm in 90210 - but I LOVE Beverly Hillbillies. Now Jed and his family were able to keep it couunntry while they were living in the city.

  2. I definetly see you as more of a Beverly Hillbilly! And I adore Jed, I have my own to live with too. lol

  3. I keep trying to explain to people that there is a big difference between being redneck and being country. I might be a bit redneck but I'm very much not country. I am 'burbs through and through!

  4. Absolutely true! And I break it down even further between redneck, hillbilly, and country. Read characters in this story part 1 I believe its my fifth or sixth entry.

    I'm country, but I married a hillbilly.

  5. i love that you did it the opposite way! signs that you AREN'T. though i don't really know anyone who wanted so badly to BE country before.

  6. Well I guess you do now. *chuckle* Did I mention I'm proud to be country? *wink wink


All my city slickers tell me what ya think.