Sunday, October 10, 2010

i tried to warn you

So you still want to be a mom? Even after all I have wrote on here? Really? Okay, I am going to tell you the things no one mentions before that little bundle of joy comes along.

Don't get me wrong-you'll make a great mama. But there seems to be the thought amongst other women to keep mum about the nitty gritty of motherhood. What's the saying? Misery loves company.

So here's the first thing, ya know all those charming little quirks you love about your hubby? Yeah. Well, your little bundle will have those, along with all the annoying little quirks. Oh, and all your annoying little quirks too. Fun, huh? You want to live with yourself? Yeah, I didn't think so.

And here's a little secret about having a baby boy. They get little soldiers standing at salute. For some reason when you take that diaper off and the air hits it, well they just let go. And if you don't have that diaper wipe ready to cover it-well you know. Although when it misses you its alright. Except if they get themselves in the face-then you cover and then laugh. Be sure to cover cause they can't get away from the stream, and it's just not nice.

The other thing no one tells you and after having the baby you seem to forget. They grow up! You know that cute little bundle of joy? Well, it will start walking and talking, and soon it's ninety pounds of hostility and hormones.

But I am jumping way ahead. There's also the fact that your vocabulary regresses. You will catch yourself saying things like: "I have to go potty." or even "We don't put the kitty in the thingy. Don't look at me like that you know what I mean."

Of course, your relationship with your spouse changes too. He no longer walks in the door and comes straight to you for a kiss. He walks in and gets this: "They won't let me play. And Bella ate all my popcorn, then Degan looked at me and said I was stinky. Make them be nice." This is usually when he responds with, "Babe you're the mommy." I respond by pouting.

So you still want to be a mom? Alright, don't say I didn't warn you.

1 comment:

  1. Loved it! As someone who plans on getting pregnant sometime in the nearby future, this is great advise (or should I say great warning?).

    And as I say to my girlfriends who have recently become mothers: it's called "baby brain"!! They seem to forget things that before the baby, wouldn't never happened.



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