Thursday, October 21, 2010

white lights and headlines

So... I have had a couple of very busy days. And have been using all my archived extras to fill the void of not being able to write. But now I am out. So here's a tale of two near death experiences about two minutes apart.

This last weekend I had agreed to let Ro's dogs out all weekend so she could go south to a festival. This meant I had to drive the twenty five miles both ways three times a day. After figuring out I really didn't want to drag the kids with me unless it was absolutely unavoidable, the releases became scheduled. The last doggie prison release after everyone else was in bed. (We are old and married even at twenty six this means ten at the latest. It is hunting season.)

I left the house, turned off our little dirt road onto the highway and nearly avoided a cow. Then as I drove the half mile to the nearest neighbor, whose cows I assumed were out. I had my first near death, you know how they say you see a white light? Well, mine was a white face as the black calf in front of me turned to me.

I didn't even see him cause he was in a bend in the road. You know how you can't really see on a sharp curve at night, that was what happened. So I hit the brakes hard. The life that flashed before me wasn't mine, it was Roast Beef's.

At this point Roast Beef leisurely walks out of the road. I continue up the road to the driveway, which is only about a hundred feet away. I pull up, shut the engine off, and undo my seat belt, walk up to the door. The door is standing wide open. But their pack of chihuahuas was absent. (They have six of the little rat dogs. Plus about six other dogs.)

So I knock. Only to have a guy that I thought was a coat on a chair, turn and swing. I jumped back. (And I ain't goin' to lie, I might have kicked out aimin' for a soft spot.) I think I scared him as much as or more as he scared me. (Did I mention I was on one side of the screen door and he was on the other? No?)

We both kinda laughed, then I told him what was goin' on. Apparently, they weren't his and they had been tryin' to catch them for about twenty four hours. But for the second time in a few minutes time I saw something flash before my eyes-a news headline. Woman Charged With Assault Claims good samaritan defense.


  1. Hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Love the headline. But seriously, you are such a good friend. Three times a day! And then to risk your life! And get scared by a stranger! They're paying you with some babysitting hours, I'm guessing.


All my city slickers tell me what ya think.